


In Your Sleep

by R_E_R6



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos is TK's favourite blanket, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, TK talks in his sleep, accidental love confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_E_R6/pseuds/R_E_R6
Summary: TK, while asleep, confesses his love for Carlos. Carlos doesn’t know whether or not to tell him or wait for him to be ready to say it while awake. Unbeknownst to them both, the moment is recorded by TK’s sleep tracking app. What's going to happen when TK finds the recordings?
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 82
Kudos: 290





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic I wrote and finished instead of working on all my other open google docs...oops:D
> 
> Thank you to [LouiseLouise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouiseLouise/pseuds/LouiseLouise) for the title suggestion after I completely blanked.

When Carlos wakes, it’s to the feel of the desert in his mouth and the disheartening sight of an empty water bottle at his bedside. Reluctantly, he drags himself from beneath the warmth of the sheets, gently prying his arms from around TK as he begins his life-saving quest to end his epic thirst. So he’s a little dramatic when he wakes up to dry mouth at awful o’clock in the morning, sue him. 

Taking careful steps, guided by the soft light of the sky beginning to regain its colour through the gaps around the curtains, Carlos exits the room in near silence, not wanting to wake TK so early after his long shift the night before. It’s a hard feat, even with his desperation to rid his throat of that sandpaper feeling; it’s difficult to convince his body to leave his boyfriend alone in bed when he wants nothing more than to still be sleeping beside him. But alas, every breath while he contemplates only reminds him of how unnaturally moist his mouth _isn’t_ , so he trudges his way down the hall to the kitchen, relying on his familiarity of the layout as he can barely keep his eyes open. 

Rehydrated and feeling a lot less bitter, Carlos returns to his bedroom, his body already preparing to relax back into the mattress even before he’s passed through the doorway. When he does, he stops still and a besotted smile spreads across his face. TK has spread himself out across the mattress, arms reaching out to Carlos’ vacated spot while his face has become buried in Carlos’ pillow. Carlos can’t help himself as he pads across the room to pull his phone from its charger, already opening the camera before his sleep addled mind is even aware of what he’s doing. 

It’s not until the harsh flash lights up and drowns the room that Carlos thinks his decision through, and he winces as the simulated shutter sound breaks the silence shortly followed by TK’s answering groan.

“Los, bed,” he complains into the pillow. Then he turns his face to Carlos, lips forming a pout, but his eyes remain closed as he reaches out a hand. Carlos doesn’t hesitate to reach out and take it. “No runnin’, sleep.”

“I’m not going running, I just got up to get a drink” Carlos assures him, slipping his hand into TK’s and perching on the mattress beside his hip in the one triangle of space where TK’s starfished limbs aren’t invading. TK lets out a satisfied hum in reply, and Carlos finds himself admiring the soft, sleepy smile gracing his boyfriend’s lips. 

It’s been months since TK started staying over regularly, but Carlos still can’t believe he gets to wake up beside TK and see him like this all the time. They’ve come a long way from TK skipping out after sex and rejecting any and all intimacy. Now, he can barely remember what it feels like to not curl together after sex, or text constantly on the days they’re apart, and Carlos loves it. He could recite TK’s morning routine flawlessly, having become used to the way TK reaches blindly for his phone every morning to check the time, only to groan and sink his head back into the pillow no matter what the screen displays. 

His boyfriend, Carlos had quickly realised, is not a morning person at all and he finds it endlessly adorable. 

“Los,” TK groans again, bordering on irritated as he begins tugging lightly at Carlos’ hand in an attempt to pull him down onto the bed. “Sleep, cuddle me.”

Carlos snorts at Tk’s ridiculousness, eyes travelling the length of TK’s body with incredulous eyebrows even though TK isn’t looking. He opens his mouth to retort that there’s no room for him to lay down but his mouth snaps shut and he puffs a laugh through his nose instead.

God, his boyfriend is the cutest, most ridiculous dork when he’s tired. 

Taking a sobering breath to stave off his amusement, Carlos tries again, still keeping his voice soft to avoid waking TK further.

“I would lay down to sleep, baby, but you’re spread out across the whole bed,” he explains slowly, watching TK’s face scrunch in confusion as he tries, still half asleep, to register the problem. Then, he shifts even further onto Carlos’ side before flopping onto his back, a perfect reverse of his previous position.

“There, fixed. Sleep.”

Carlos has to cover his mouth as TK’s slurred words reach his ears, his dreary eyes watering as he laughs into his palm. 

“That’s,” he pauses to take another breath and wipe his eyes, “that’s not any more room, TK.”

“Mmmm,” Tk hums. Carlos assumes it’s a sound of disagreement as he restarts his tugging before turning to face Carlos. His eyes stay closed, but Carlos can still read the attempted deadpan expression for what it is: TK clearly thinks Carlos is the one being unreasonable here. 

A less patient man may grow annoyed and wake him up so he’ll move, but Carlos’ chest warms at the domesticity of it all. All he can think about is how much he loves getting to see TK in all his nonsensical glory during these intimate moments. Even if it is stopping him from going back to sleep. He’d much rather look at TK than the inside of his own eyelids anyway. 

“I don’t know what you want, baby,” Carlos whispers calmly, reaching out a hand to smooth the crease between TK’s eyebrows before weaving his fingers through the soft strands of his hair. TK relaxes and shifts closer, smiling once again.

“Blanket.”

Carlos shakes his head in amusement, “Okay, I’ll get you the blanket, babe.”

He turns to reach for the bundle lying abandoned on the floor -right where they’d kicked it off to last night- only to be stopped by TK’s low whine of protest and the hand batting at this bicep. Now with both of his hands on Carlos, TK begins pulling again.

“You,” he murmurs, “blanket.”

“Oh,” Carlos realises, grin stretching across his face as he leans down to stretch himself out on top of TK until he’s blanketing the other man's body with his own. TK sighs happily and nuzzles into TK’s neck. “God you’re so cute.”

TK hums happily, before repeating, “sleep.”

“Okay,” Carlos agrees, placing a sweet kiss against the skin to TK’s temple, “let’s go back to sleep, baby.”

TK is already half asleep by the time Carlos has settled with his arms beneath the pillows, bracketing their heads, and his face buried in TK’s shoulder. His breathing slows and matches TK’s until he begins drifting, lulled by the calming sound as it washes over him like waves over the shore. 

At least, that is, until TK’s voice, thick and uncoordinated with sleep, sends four words stumbling from his lips to vibrate against Carlos’ disbelieving ears.

“I love you, 'Los.”

It’s barely a whisper, slurred, and just about every other kind of unclear, but the meaning is unmistakable and Carlos hears it clearly perfectly through the silence. They freeze him in place, his breath catching in disbelief. And TK, well, he just snuggles in closer, his lips ghosting over Carlos’ neck as he continues sleeping like nothing happened. As if Carlos’ world didn’t just shift completely, his head swimming and his heart doing somersaults beneath his ribs. 

No, TK sleeps on, completely unaffected as Carlos composes himself just enough to croak out “I love you too, baby. More than anything.” in a voice voice full of wonderment. 

All shreds of tiredness are gone as he gawks at soft brown strands splayed out across his pillow. Time seems to disappear, the room becoming more light than darkness as Carlos holds TK close, replaying the words over and over in his head until the room grows bright enough to sting his tired eyes.

With the rising sun comes enlightenment, and the question of whether or not TK even realised what he’d said. He’d been pretty out of it to start with, and practically asleep when the words had left his lips. In fact, it's possible he was already sleeping, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’s heard TK say things in his sleep. TK is well known for his sleep talking, particularly for saying the most random and ridiculous things; what if that’s what this was? What if he didn’t mean it, or isn’t ready to say it yet?

Eventually, it’s those thoughts that pin Carlos down and make his eyes heavy with exhaustion. His mind is bogged down by uncertainties as he crashes hard into a short, restless sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos tries to figure out what to do. Meanwhile, TK notices something's up with his boyfriend.

“He clearly loves you, Carlos, I don’t see what the problem is,” Michelle states plainly. It’s clear to Carlos that she thinks he’s overthinking this, even without her voicing as such. The roll of her eyes when he’d recounted their conversation and the morning that followed told him everything he needed to know. “He literally told you. He even said it first,l."

“Yeah but he was asleep,” Carlos counters, “that’s not the same as him being ready to actually tell me. What if bringing it up just freaks him out and he starts pushing me away again? Or worse, he feels like he has to lie and say it again when he doesn’t want to.”

Michelle sighs, hand reaching out to place a comforting hand on Carlos’ forearm and gently pry his hand out of his hair. He’s been tugging at it on and off since TK had left that morning, heading back to his place to meet Owen for brunch. His internal debating had left Carlos restless and he’d gotten nothing done since the moment TK walked out of the door, his own late breakfast having been abandoned. 

He’d gotten as far as cracking one egg -all over the counter because he’d been distracted and hit it too hard against the side of the bowl he’d planned to whisk them in- before giving up and calling Michelle, resigning himself to the fact he’d probably burn his omelette if he tried to go any further. Instead he’d paced the length of his couch while waiting for her to come over. For once he’d been thankful that Michelle drives like a maniac and didn’t fix her with his usual look of disapproval when she had arrived a full five minutes sooner than the speed limit should have allowed. 

Michelle had immediately realised the extent of his inner turmoil by that fact alone, even before seeing the failings of his meal in the kitchen. In no time she’d steered him towards the couch and called to order lunch before meticulously putting everything away exactly where Carlos stores it, right down to correct refrigerator shelves. She ignores Carlos’ protests and eventually he resigns himself to watching her and trying to calm his racing thoughts, touched by her actions. Refrigerator organisation is definitely not something she bothers with in her own home and her efforts to do so here remind him why he loves her so much. 

Now, they’re sitting with takeout containers spread across the coffee table as Carlos tries to stress the potential for catastrophe. Michelle, on the other hand, insists it isn’t as doomed as he imagines. 

“That’s not going to happen, Carlos. He wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t feel it. The words didn’t come from nowhere,” she encourages, “just talk to him about it. Given his past, he could just be waiting for you to say it first. He was hurt by someone he loved a lot more than they loved him back, Carlos, it makes sense he’d be hesitant about putting his feelings out there. Plus, even if he isn’t ready to say it, he doesn’t have to.”

“He doesn’t really have that option when he already said it. What if telling him puts pressure on him?”

“It won’t, because you’ll make it clear that you’re not expecting him to be ready,” she clarifies. “Honestly, Carlos, I think coming clean is the best option here. Otherwise you’ll let it eat at you and keep being awkward and it’ll all come back to bite you in the ass. You're not good with secrets and TK isn't stupid, he's going to realise something's up with you.”

Carlos groans, knowing that she’s right. TK had to have already noticed him acting strangely that morning, especially when he’d left and Carlos had almost said those three little words as he’d kissed him goodbye. He’d barely managed to cover the near stumble with a cough and brush off TK’s wide-eyed concern. There’s only so long he can keep this bottled up before TK gets suspicious, which he knows would be bad given the insecurities TK has left over from his breakup with Alex.

Honestly, right now, Carlos hates Alex more than ever and he’s never even met the guy. It's a selfish thought, but this would be a whole lot easier if he hadn't broken TK's heart so badly. Then again, he wouldn't have met TK then. God, why is this so complicated?

Michelle smirks at his suffering groan, taking it as a sign of his reluctant agreement. 

“Glad you’re finally on the side of sense, now eat up.”

She pushes his plate and cutlery closer, already piled high with his favourites, then turns back to eating straight from the container with a plastic fork. Carlos watches her for another few seconds before turning the TV louder.

“Thanks ‘Chelle,” he mumbles. She hums around a mouthful, waving a dismissive hand before swallowing too soon and shushing.

“Quiet, I want to know who Rico is cheating with.”

Carlos rolls his eyes and picks up his fork, following her lead and allowing himself to find distraction in whatever telenovela she’s turned on. It’s one his sisters watch too, he’s almost sure of that, but he’s given up on keeping track of them at this point. It doesn’t matter anyway, their drama distracts him from his own worries long enough to finish his food and he’s grateful for the reprieve. 

* * *

As Carlos calms down across town, TK is out with Owen growing more and more distracted from their conversation as he thinks about how odd Carlos had been acting that morning. 

“And then I just kissed the police chief to shut him up because I figured, hey, that’s how TK-”

“What?” TK snaps his attention back to Owen, head reeling back in confusion.

“Ah, you’re back. Did you hear anything I just said?”

“You kissed Chief Myers?”

“Of course not, if I were going to switch teams at this age, which could still happen you never know, it definitely wouldn’t be with a man who uses the same bar soap on his face and his ass.”

He spits out the last part with disdain and TK doesn’t know if he’s more amused at his dad's antics or horrified by what he’s saying.

“Wait, how do you know he-?”

“Well I don’t know for sure, but come on, he totally tools like the type.”

Tk shakes his head and holds up his hands, “Hold on, this got way off topic.”

Owen snorts, “How would you know? You weren’t even paying attention to my story. It was a total blow to my delicate ego.”

“Yeah, so delicate,” TK remarks with a roll of his eyes. “Sorry, I’m just a little stuck in my head. What were you saying?”

“That doesn’t matter, TK,” Owen dismisses, “I’m more concerned with what has you so...weird.”

He's leaning forwards now, fork down against his tray. His attention is fully placed on TK and the younger man feels the prickly feeling of exposure, like Owen is boring right into his soul.

“Weird?" he mocks, an obvious deflection. "Real eloquent, dad.”

Owen doesn't bite and TK isn't surprised, he had known it was a futile attempt and that it wouldn't deter Owen from trying to figure out what's wrong with him.

“Well I didn’t want to say it TK, but I haven’t seen you like this since you and Alex were drifting apart. Did something happen with Carlos?”

TK bites his lip, averting his gaze to the rustling trees over Owen’s shoulder. Ever since Alex, and everything that followed, his dad has been paying careful attention, near overbearing at times, when it comes to TK's mental state. TK feels guilty at times for enjoying Owen's attentiveness because he knows it's driven by his dad's guilt at not noticing when TK wasn't in a good place back in New York. Now, as his feelings chew at him, attempting to eat him up from the inside out, he's grateful that Owen has taken to reaching out to him instead of waiting for TK to talk about his problems. 

“No,” he denies, shaking his head. Then he shrugs, “I don’t know. He was acting strange this morning, I think maybe I did something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Literally no idea. He didn’t even seem mad or anything, just different. He was fine last night but then this morning we were talking and he was asking questions like there was something I was supposed to know and it’s not even an anniversary or anything, I checked. Then he was all quiet and awkward, and,” TK cuts himself off, lump forming in his throat. 

“And what?” Owen prompts, food completely abandoned as he nudges his tray aside with his elbow so he can reach for TK’s shoulder and lean forward to catch his eyes. He succeeds, and when TK finally looks at him he feels his own eyes begin to water.

“It’s like he was relieved when I left." It hurts to admit, the words aching his throat as they claw their way past the ball of worry and angst that has settled there. "Which is just, I dunno. What am I supposed to think, dad? I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but then I keep thinking about how I ignored everything with Alex and-” 

“Woah, TK, I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. Carlos is a good guy.”

TK lets out a wet, shaky laugh, noting how odd it is to hear Owen defending one of his boyfriends like this when he’s always been the one pointing out red flags that TK had refused to see. 

“I know, and I don’t want to think about these things. It wasn’t even anything suspicious, just odd. I should be more worried about why Carlos was acting weird than anything else, but my stupid insecurities are making it all about me again.”

His dad’s eyebrows scrunch together in a way TK is all too familiar with and he knows what’s coming even before the older man opens his mouth.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, kiddo,” Owen repeats in the same way he has since TK was a child, “You’re not being selfish, and your insecurities aren’t stupid, even if they do mislead you sometimes. We just have to sort through them and figure out what’s logical and what isn’t. Now, start from the beginning and let's see if we can work through this together.”

TK takes a deep breath, gives a single determined nod, and begins recounting everything he remembers from the moment he'd woken up against Carlos' chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have chapter 2. Let me know what you think! :D


	3. Chapter 3

“So it’s odd, right? He was fine the night before and when we went back to sleep.”

TK grows nervous when he finishes speaking and finds himself faced with deafening silence from Owen. The rustling of the trees suddenly sounds ominous and he resists the urge to shiver and curl in on himself again. 

“Say something, I’m kinda freaking out.” 

He tries to laugh off his nerves, but Owen must hear the urgency in the strangled sound because he quickly rounds the table to place an arm across TK’s shoulders. 

“Oh God,” TK groans, heart sinking. If his dad thinks he needs physical comfort then it has to be bad news, right? He did something, something bad, without even realising it and Owen is about to break the news. Fuck, why does the air on this street feel so thin?

“No no no,” Owen denies, “it’s nothing bad, just, what do you mean by 'back to sleep'? You were up before this?”

TK stills and takes a deeper breath to clear his head before shrugging. “Not really. Carlos got up to get water and I woke up when he came back into the room. I think he took a picture or something and the phone was loud.”

Owen looks confused before raising his eyebrows knowingly, “You totally spread yourself out across the bed didn’t you?”

“I was asleep,” TK defends, causing Owen to laugh.

“Okay, I’m guessing that’s not what has Carlos acting weird, so are you sure nothing else happened?”

“No, that’s it, he got back into bed eventually and went back to sleep, everything was fine.”

“Eventually,” Owen highlights with a snort.

TK jabs him with his elbow, “You’re supposed to be helping, not mocking.”

“Sorry, sorry, I just-” Owen pauses and straightens up, seeming to have an epiphany as he obviously changes what he was going to say. “Hey, do you still use that sleep app thing?”

“Yeah, why?” TK asks, confused by the tangent.

“Because you talk in your sleep, TK.”

TK shrugs and says “I know.” still not understanding why they’re talking about it. Seriously, his relationship might be breaking down as they speak, his tendency to say weird things while unconscious hardly seems like the biggest concern right now. 

Owen stares at him blankly and TK matches the look before a thought dawns on him.

“Oh my God, do you think I said something in my sleep?”

Owen shrugs, “possibly, it’s worth checking that too. Although I was thinking more along the lines of it having picked up something you don’t remember. Or maybe Carlos had a nightmare or something and that’s why he woke up. Nightmares can make people act weird.”

“Okay,” TK says slowly before taking another deep breath in an attempt to calm himself further, “so we just check it and listen to last night's recordings. Simple as that, right?”

“Exactly,” Owen encourages, “we either find something or we don’t and either way I’m sure it’ll work out.”

“Okay,” TK repeats, “easy.”

He doesn't move. At all. His phone is already in his hand from where he'd been absently fiddling with it, but it's like his hand is frozen, fingers now splayed so they don't accidently touch the screen. He's being foolish, he knows it, but he just keeps staring at the black screen unable to move. 

“Do you want me to press it?”

“Yeah.” 

Owen’s mouth lifts slightly at the corners as TK thrusts his phone at his dad before he can change his mind. He becomes jittery as he watches Owen’s hands flick across the screen, tapping through the different recordings, listening carefully for anything he may not have noticed in their conversation when it was happening. Owen teases him about the “blanket” comment, of course he does, and TK feels his cheeks grow warm as he protests that he was half asleep and therefore can’t be blamed for the way he was acting. He actually groans in embarrassment when Owen smirks and reminds him how fond Carlos seemed at TK’s words.

“See, nothing happened last night,” TK proclaims when the sound fades out. He’s smiling softly, despite the slight churning in his stomach, at the way Carlos’ voice sounded while calling him “Baby” through the speaker of his phone. “We only spoke for a bit and I was telling him to get back into bed, I don’t get why that would make him act so strangely.”

“Um,” Owen sound hesitant and eyes TK cautiously to watch for his reaction, "that’s not the last recording on here.”

“What?”

TK leans forward, clearly astonished. He doesn’t even care to flinch when his ribs knock uncomfortably against the edge of the table in his haste to see the phone. 

“There’s two more here.” Owen shows him the screen, pointing to the last two recordings, both less than ten seconds each. 

“Two?” he repeats, despite the evidence clearly displayed before his eyes. “What do they say?”

Owen’s head tilts down, eyes full of sass as he raises a single eyebrow. TK huffs and folds his arms over his chest, anticipating Owen’s incoming sarcasm.

“Really, TK? How-”

“Oh, you know what I meant, just play it.”

Owen, clearly seeing TK’s failing attempts to conceal his perturbation, says no more and clicks play on the first of the two recordings. TK listens with bated breath as his own murmur comes through the speaker and he’s faced with the reality of his sleepy confession. Then, the world blurs around him and the only sound he can hear is his own pounding heartbeat. 

He twists in his chair, vision swimming, and begins scrambling to his feet. If it wasn’t for Owen’s hands clamping down on his shoulders and anchoring him to his seat, he probably would have fallen in his attempts to stand and bolt away. Honestly, he doesn’t even know where he wants to go or what he wants to do. It’s just that, suddenly, his skin feels like it’s being pulled taught and can’t possibly contain the feelings threatening to burst through and tear him apart, and he has an urgent desire to run until he’s far enough from the problem at hand. 

_I’ve fucked it all up,_ he thinks as his wild eyes dart around, _I’ve ruined everything._

“TK stop, stop,” Owen calls, his voice like a beacon calling TK out of his head and back into reality. “Son, you haven’t ruined anything, you hear me? I need you to calm down TK, I need you to breathe. Breathe with me, TK.”

“I just,” he chokes out, then gasps and continues to stutter, “I said, and he’s, this is bad. This is so bad.”

“Let’s just listen to the next recording, see if we can hear Carlos’ reaction before you go on assuming the worst.”

“I can’t, Dad.” He finally meets his dad’s eyes, hoping Owen will see the truth there, that he really can’t do this, and stop trying to comfort him. It’s no use, he’s convinced of it. Instead he finds nothing but calm and concern as Owen makes a show of breathing deeply. TK tries to mimic him, hoping it’ll help alleviate the painfully tight grip of his ribs around his lungs. 

“Yes you can, TK, trust me. Just start by breathing, nice and slow.”

TK nods despite the way it makes his head spin and keeps going, feeling the tightness lessen bit by bit until he’s finally able to speak.

“There you go, now how about we listen and then worry about where to go from there?”

“No, Dad, I really can’t,” TK pleads, “What if Carlos’ reply _is_ on there? And what if it’s something I don’t want to hear? What if he’s acting weird because he realised he doesn’t love me, and won’t ever love me like that?”

His heart rate has barely slowed, but now he feels it picking up again. 

“TK,” Owen sighs, face drooping with concern, “that’s not-”

At TK’s panicked look, Owen sighs again, cutting off his own denial. TK isn’t just going to believe him, not when he’s so worked up and already has the worst case scenario at the forefront of his mind and Owen must realise this. The last thing he wants is to set off another panic attack so, instead, he does what he always does and switches tactics, introducing positive thoughts in an attempt to balance out TK’s worries. As Owen speaks, TK feels his defences growing weaker as rationality seeps through the cracks. 

“What if his reply is on there and it’s everything you want to hear? Think about it, TK, has Carlos given you any reason to doubt him or how much he cares about you? He’s a good guy, Son, and even if he doesn’t say it back, he’s not going to break up with you over something you said while you were asleep. He’s not that guy, trust me, I’ve met that guy. You’ve dated that guy. What if all this worrying is for nothing and you can stop it all by listening to one little recording?” 

“I-” Tk hesitates for a moment, then another, then opens his mouth to speak before stopping again. He thinks about it, really thinks about it, then it feels like his dad is holding him up as all the fight leaves his body. With his eyes lowered to the floor and his voice quiet, almost hesitant, he asks, “Can you listen to it?”

“You mean alone?” Owen clarifies.

“Yeah,” he whispers again, this time slightly louder than the last. His dad might be right, sure, but he also might be wrong. TK wants to know the truth, but he also knows himself well enough to realise it's better to be careful. “It’ll just, I guess it’ll hurt less to hear it from you if it’s bad news. I’d rather be prepared. I haven’t really had a good track record with bad surprises.”

Owen watches him for a minute, clearly wanting to say something about that but TK’s eyes remain pleading, then Owen nods and TK sags in relief. Evidently, Owen thought better of it, choosing to deal with the problem at hand and halt the constant battle against TK’s self-deprecation until another day. TK is grateful, too preoccupied to worry about his appropriately named ‘Alex issues’ right now. 

“Yeah, okay,” he agrees, “If that’s what you want, and that’s what’ll help, I’ll listen first.”

TK’s sigh is heavy but he lifts his eyes from the ground, “Thanks, Dad.”

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Owen is smiling when he pulls the phone away from his ear. It's tight, almost as if he’s trying to stop himself from grinning, and his eyes are crinkled at the corners. TK feels a spark of hope ignite in his chest, figuring only good news would have his father looking so pleased.

“So?” he asks, practically vibrating with anticipation. 

Owen looks to his left and appears to think for a second before nodding to himself as TK leans forward impatiently. Finally, Owen speaks, “I think you should talk to Carlos. I’m pretty sure you’ll like what he has to say.”

TK’s mouth drops open, “That’s it? That’s all I get? Come on, what did it say?”

Owen shakes his head slightly, silently stretching into a small grin. “TK do you trust me?”

TK nods and, without hesitation, states “Of course.”

“Then believe me when I say you’ll want to hear it from Carlos in person. It’ll be better that way.”

There’s a knowing glint in his eyes, floating amongst smug satisfaction and -oddly- pride. TK remains confused and unsure for a moment but when Owen’s positivity only grows instead of dimming, it becomes infectious. TK begins to feel that spark of hope spreading, filling him with warmth right to the tips of every finger and causing his toes to curl as he tries to conceal his excitement. When he speaks again his voice is soft with wonder and happiness. TK knows his dad, and Owen’s vague advice is enough of an answer for him to believe everything will be okay. But still, he wants to hear the words out loud.

“Everything’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Owen assures him, “more than okay, TK. I’m glad, too, I really like Carlos.”

“That’s a first, you usually hate my boyfriends.”

“Not hate,” he denies only to receive a scoff, “okay so I didn’t exactly hide it well. I do like Carlos though, you’re good together and you seem much happier with him than you did before.”

“I am.”

TK doesn't mean to, but his lips twist up into a small grin when he thinks about how much light Carlos has brought to his life in these past months. He can't help it, the other man makes him feel things he thought he'd never feel again, as well as things he never knew he could feel, and it seems almost impossible to contain how much he loves him. Because he does love him. He'd known it long before he'd heard his own words mumbled through the speaker of his phone. He'd held it in though, admittedly too scared to say them out loud. Only now, knowing he's already said them to Carlos while sleeping, he realises that he can't wait to say them to Carlos awake and in person. Carlos has been the best thing to happen to TK in a long time and he deserves to know. It only makes it easier to know that Carlos is aware of his feelings and, if his dad's reaction is anything to go by, feels just as strongly about him.

Owen smiles again before slapping his hands against his thighs and standing, “Well, you’ll be even happier once you hear what he has to say. What are we waiting for?”

And with that he begins striding to the car, half-finished food abandoned at their table, having no doubt TK will follow behind him. TK does, lead by his racing heart as excitement bubbles up in his chest. It isn’t hard to guess what Owen is hinting at and why he wants TK to hear it for himself straight from Carlos. He’s not as scared as he thought he’d be considering what he’s about to do, but his dad is right, this is Carlos. He loves him and, despite his previous reservations, he’s excited to let him know and see where it takes him. It doesn’t help that he’s almost definitely sure Carlos feels the same way.   
The car ride is a blur -quite literally, TK is surprised when they make it without getting pulled over- and soon enough he’s stepping out of the car in front of Carlos’ apartment and jogging up to the door. One quick look back at the car gets him an enthusiastic thumbs up from Owen before his eagerness has him knocking rapidly against the dark wood. He’s bouncing impatiently on the spot when the door swings open to reveal Carlos on the other side. 

“TK, what are you-”

Seeing the look on Carlos’ face, surprised but visibly pleased, and the way he automatically opens the door and reaches out for him, TK can’t keep his composure and words come tumbling from his mouth. 

“We need to talk.”

Carlos’ face falls just slightly, surprise turning to confusion and a shadow of doubt is cast across his features.

“Is something wrong? I thought you were spending the day with your dad.”

“What? No, U mean yes! I just,” TK takes a breath, wondering how to start as he steps through the doorway. He sidles past Carlos, hoping the words will come more easily if he’s not looking at his face. “I found something and we should talk about it. My dad dropped me here so we can talk, everything is fine.”

It’s not until he turns to see Carlos’ reaction that he spots Michelle on the couch, having been hidden from view by the door. She’s folded comfortably, with a blanket draped over her legs, and surrounded by takeout containers. TK freezes in place and takes a step back with a grimace as it dawns on him that he's intruding.

“Hi, TK,” she greets sheepishly, holding completely still as if it would have stopped him from spotting her.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t even think. I should have called and checked before coming over.”

“It’s fine,” Michelle insists, but TK shakes his head. It’s not fine. He barely dared to do this with Carlos here, and he’s pretty necessary to the whole love confession scenario he was aiming for, there’s absolutely no possible way he’ll be able to do this with Michelle here too. Plus, he feels incredibly rude for interrupting their day together. 

“No, it’s not, I shouldn’t have just barged in like that, I didn’t even think about the fact you might have plans.” He’s addressing them both now, frantically turning his head from one to the other as he backs towards the door, but Carlos’ has already closed it most of the way and holds out a hand to stop TK in his tracks.

“TK you’re hardly barging in, I opened the door and let you inside. I have no problem with my boyfriend coming over to see me at all. You're welcome whenever you want, you know that."

“Plus,” Michelle adds, slipping on her shoes, “I was just leaving anyway.” 

It’s obviously untrue, she’d still been lifting a fork full of food to her mouth when he’d spotted her, but she’s already making her way towards the door by the time he’s opened his mouth to contest her statement. 

“Seriously, you don’t have to go. It can wait.” Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is a sign. He should take more time and figure out what he’s going to say. Yeah, that works. Procrastination for the win. 

“Nope, I gotta get going,” she insists, stealing away all hope of putting this off, and I should hurry before your dad leaves so I can convince him to give me a ride.”

At that, Carlos, who has remained in a state of stunned silence throughout the exchange, raises his eyebrows. 

“Michelle, you drove here,” he remarks skeptically. 

“Details,” she dismisses as she breezes out the door, not stopping even as she tilts her head up to yell back at them, “I’m making a discreet exit so you two can have an actual conversation, don’t ruin it. Now talk, both of you.”

The two watch silently as she disappears, neither quite knowing how to react to Michelle’s whirlwind behaviour. The thickening silence grows exponentially, setting TK on edge, once Carlos finally snaps out of his stupor and shuts the door. Then, he turns so they're face to face, just standing there watching each other, and TK feels his pulse ticking rapidly. He isn't sure if he’s more relieved or terrified when Carlos finally breaks the silence. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

It’s the whole reason TK came here and yet the question has him floundering as his words cling to the inside of his throat. Carlos simply waits, as patient as always, and looking as calm and collected as ever, while TK tries to compose himself. It's oddly comforting; odd because this sort of patient, expectant look would usually have TK growing more worried and anxious. But with Carlos, there’s no niggling voice grating at the back of his skull telling him he’s a fool for wasting time. This is Carlos, and this is important. TK wants to get this right and he knows Carlos will wait as long as he needs to figure out how he’s going to say it. That time should probably mean that TK can prepare a carefully constructed speech to fully express his feelings.

That’s not what happens at all. Instead, Carlos shifts from one foot to the other and sways slightly closer. He’s relaxed, completely content to stand there all day if he needs to, TK knows. The thought has him smiling softly and his plan to compose a carefully thought out speech flies out the window. 

"You're amazing,” he comments distractedly. He would feel embarrassed about blurting it out if not for Carlos' reaction. The red tinge high on his cheekbones gives away how pleased he is at the compliment.

“Thank you,” he replies before sucking in one side of his bottom lip to contain his smile. "you're pretty amazing yourself, TK."

That has TK smiling once again, warmth dancing across his skin to the beat of his own racing heart. Carlos cares about him, it’s obvious in his concern and TK knows Carlos would be willing to wait as long as it takes for him to be ready.

“You make me feel amazing,” TK counters, the truth pouring out of him freely. "always.”

Carlos steps closer, the tension of silence having evaporated, and pulls TK into his arms. TK allows himself to be wrapped up and leans closer into the comfort of Carlos’ embrace. The feel of lips pressing into his hair is like a shower of love cascading down on him and seems to wash away all his doubts. He loves Carlos and, though he’d failed to see it before, his dad is right; it’s obvious that Carlos loves him too. 

That comforting thought, and the unwavering certainty that comes with it, dislodges the knotted ball of nerves in his throat and he feels infinitely lighter as he opens his mouth to set his feelings free. 

“Hey Los,” he begins, his voice barely a whisper. He clears his throat and pulls back to look Carlos in the eyes. He wants him to see the truth there, as he says the words, and know that TK means them with everything he has.

“Yeah, baby?” 

Carlos meets his eyes and tilts his head forward until their breaths mingle and those whiskey eyes are all TK can see. They’re beautiful and open, as well as honest, and TK gets lost in them.

“I have an app on my phone that records everything that’s said when I’m sleeping.”

Carlos’ head reels back, panic bleeding into those eyes, and TK hates the sight of it. Shit, that’s not what he was supposed to say.


	5. Chapter 5

Carlos stands, his feet cemented to the floor, feeling like his whole body is coated in marble. He can’t move, doesn’t know how to move. Moving would be reacting and he doesn't know how to do that right now. How is he supposed to react to this? 

He figures TK knows about their conversation. He must have, or else why would he be bringing it up? What Carlos can't figure out is how to take this information. It stirs up so many emotions in rapid flashes and he's unable to sort through them fast enough as they continue to assault him. A tornado comes to mind; the image of hot and cold air chasing each other around to the point of becoming destructive seems rather fitting. Only, in Carlos’ mind, it’s a fight between hopeful optimism and paralysing fear that leaves his stomach churning uncomfortably. He’s been so focussed whether or not to tell TK the truth, and how that would affect their relationship, that he hadn't even stopped to consider what he'd do or say if TK found out for himself. It seemed too unlikely to spare it a thought. 

Now it’s clear that TK does know already and he looks just as stunned as Carlos. Carlos can’t work out how TK feels about this, just that it’s real and happening right here and now. He tries to tell himself that TK coming to talk to him about it is a good thing. Once upon a time, TK would have run away from a situation like this. Surely that has to count for something. However, his shell-shocked look doesn’t exactly suggest he’s ecstatic about the conversation. If it were good news, wouldn't he be happier? 

He’s scanning Carlos’ face too, Carlos notices, looking for a reaction that he can’t even fathom enough to display. TK doesn’t seem to like that, and Carlos feels the marble encasing him cracking and crumbling as TK’s face falls. He moves as if to retreat and Carlos is closing the half step between them without a second thought, his desire to keep TK close ripping his feet free from the ground. 

“Hey, don’t go,” Carlos pleads, “I’m sorry, you just surprised me. Let’s sit down and talk properly, okay?”

TK nods, a small smile returning, then shuffles past and over to the couch. Carlos takes a deep breath and swipes a hand down the length of his face before following. TK has settled into the corner of the couch with his body turned to the side and Carlos can’t help but think there’s a strategy there. It's as if he’s waiting to see how much space Carlos leaves between them. Carlos isn’t sure what the right move is, and how far away TK expects him to sit, but he wants to be close to him and figures he can always move if TK seems uncomfortable. So Carlos settles in right beside him and turns his body until they’re facing each other before gently placing his hand on TK’s bouncing knee. 

TK looks up at him through his eyelashes and his smile broadens, turning pleased, and Carlos immediately relaxes, assured that he made the right move. 

“Okay, so obviously that’s not how I wanted to start this conversation,” TK begins, his hand slightly shaky as he sets it atop Carlos’. Still, he carries on through the nerves and narrows his eyes at Carlos, playfully accusatory. “You’re very distracting.”

Carlos winks back at him with an encouraging smile and flips his hand over to interlock their fingers. TK’s hand stills in his and then Carlos feels the tension bleed out of his fingertips as TK tightens his hold. 

“So I guess you’re here because you know about our conversation this morning?”

TK takes a deep breath before nodding and Carlos holds his breath. 

“Yeah, the app records everything automatically when someone speaks. Anyway, after you were acting weird this morning,”

Guilt tears through Carlos after hearing that. His chest feels heavy, face contorting in sorrow for his boyfriend. He’d thought he had done a better job of hiding everything that morning but clearly that wasn’t the case. The thought of TK leaving the house and spending the afternoon with his insecurities gnawing on his mind, convincing him he’d done something wrong, is heartbreaking. Regret begins to eat at him and Carlos wants nothing more than to pull TK close and protect him from all those negative thoughts -those vultures of the mind that lay dormant and wait for him to be vulnerable before they begin eating him alive.

TK must notice Carlos' stress, because he pauses in his sentence and squeezes their hands tighter for a second, pulling Carlos out of his own head.

“It’s fine, I get it now.” he soothes before continuing. “So yeah, you were being weird and I started overthinking it, you know, wondering why. But I couldn’t think of anything I did that would make you want me to leave, so my dad suggested listening to it to see if we could figure out what happened.”

“You didn't do anything wrong," Carlos states, with certainly pouring off of each word. He needs TK to understand that none of this is his fault. "It’s not that I wanted you to leave, TK, honestly. I always want you around, but I can't deny I was a little relieved that you had plans so I could think for a bit. I was so freaking happy when you, you know, but then when I realised you didn't remember I had no idea how you'd feel about it. I didn't know whether or not to tell you."

He wants to wrap TK safely in his arms and tell him just how much he loves him. Because he can do that now, right? TK knows, and he’s here instead of avoiding Carlos, so surely he doesn’t see it as a bad thing. At least, that’s what Carlos is hoping this conversation is for because the other option is too painful to think about. Still, Carlos doesn’t say it yet, not wanting to jump the gun, and instead chooses to wait and see what else TK has to say. 

“I know that,” TK assures him, and Carlos’ sigh is audible as it pushes through the air that seems to have stilled and grown thick between them. “I get why you were unsure about telling me, it’s alright. I’m actually kind of glad that you know. It’s odd, but if I didn’t say it then I don’t think I would have had the courage to say-"

TK trails off and Carlos smiles encouragingly. 

“It’s okay, baby, you don’t have to. I don’t need words to know where we stand. I’m perfectly happy to just keep going as we are, I’m with you no matter what.”

“No, I need-” he cuts off again then rolls his shoulders and sits straighter, almost as if preparing himself to run into a fire. “Last night, well technically this morning, when we woke up I- I said-”

Carlos hears the hesitation again and shuffles even closer, moving their hands until TK’s is between both of his. 

“Yeah, that. It’s okay, TK, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything. Because I didn’t know if you were ready to say it yet and it’s okay if you’re not. Don’t force your-”

“No, Carlos-”

“You’re not,” Carlos repeats with a shrug, trying to outwardly show his acceptance. Honestly, TK can take as long as he wants, Carlos was fine with their relationship before any of this happened and he’ll be fine now. He meant what he said, he doesn’t need TK to tell him he loves him to prove he wants to be with him. He knew this would be hard for him, and he knew what he was getting into when they started dating. Going back now, he’d make the same decision time and time again. “okay, that’s completely fine. I don’t expect you to be ready yet and I’m not going to pressure you. I-”

“No, Carlos, stop talking.” TK cuts him off, his raised voice shocking Carlos into silence. His eyes are wide and exasperated and Carlos turns rigid as doubt claws up his spine. Maybe he got it wrong, maybe TK _is_ here to- “I love you.”

Okay.

Okay.

Definitely not here to break up with him then. That's great. Thank God.

“Carlos, say something.” 

TK’s words are accompanied by a nervous chuckle that snaps Carlos from his stunned silence. He lets out a bewildered little laugh of his own, though it comes out as more of a heavy puff of air seeing as it’s the first breath he’s taken since TK cut him off. 

“You-you're saying it now? You mean it?” 

Carlos’ brown eyes shimmer with wonder, lips slightly slack as his words pass through coated in disbelief. He wants nothing more than to lean forward and kiss TK senseless, to pour all his love into this moment. He settles for leaning closer and wrapping his arms around TK's neck as he gently rests their foreheads together.

“Yeah, I love you.” TK confirms, sending a fresh wave of astonishment barreling over Carlos before his hands reach out and fiddle nervously with the hem of Carlos' t-shirt, “This would uh- this would be a great time for you to say it back.”

If Carlos weren’t too busy touching TK he’d slap his palm to his forehead and bemoan his own stupidity.

“Yeah, of course, I love you," Carlos assures him rapidly, finally breaking out of his stupor to let all of his withheld feelings come cascading out of him. "Of course I love you, TK. I’m completely in love with you.”

TK grins bashfully and bites his lip to try and contain it as he brushes their noses together. However, it does nothing to hide the blush creeping across his skin and it only makes Carlos want to kiss him more.

"You don't have to say it that many times, Los,” he teases as his grin slips free from between his teeth, “it's not a competition."

"You're such a little shit," Carlos exclaims with a shake of his head. Next, he shifts until one knee rests on the couch while the other foot stays planted on the floor. He leans over TK until their lips are almost touching and he’s close enough to see the love in TK’s eyes. At that moment, he wonders how he’d missed it all this time. "I love you and I plan on saying it every chance I get from now on so you'd better get used to it, Tyler Kennedy."

TK pouts at the use of his full name, the small movement causing their lips to brush together as he speaks. "I take it back, I hate you."

In spite of his words, his body gives him away. He relaxes under Carlos’ hands, leaning back further into the couch and sliding down slowly, his hands securing themselves on Carlos’ waist to pull him closer as he reclines until Carlos hovering over him. 

“Mmmm, I don’t think you do,” Carlos dismisses, tilting his head down to run his eyes across the length of TK’s splayed body before locking their gazes once again. “In fact, I have it on good authority that you love me.”

TK scrunches up his face and lifts his chin, faking bewilderment.

“Oh yeah? Who told you that?”

“Just this cute guy I know,” Carlos says, “You might know him; incredibly sweet, talks in his sleep, likes to use his boyfriend as a blanket, breathtakingly gorgeous, any of that sound familiar?.”

“You’re ridiculous,” TK says with a chuckle in his voice. Then he’s tilting his head to silence Carlos with a kiss before his compliments can turn TK’s flushed cheeks any darker. 

“You love it,” Carlos whispers, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of TK’s mouth. 

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Their lips close together again in another lingering kiss that quickly becomes heated. There isn’t much talking after that.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s been less than twenty-four hours since Carlos first heard the three little words that sent his heart soaring as the fell from TK’s lips, but it feels like a lot longer. 

The room is exactly the same, right down to the sheets, and yet it feels like even the air has changed. As if it’s lighter, easier to inhale, and is more refreshing with each panted breath as they gasp it in. It seems to move more fluidly around them as they twist and mould to the shape of each other's bodies, growing taught with tension as the pleasure gradually builds between them. Until, they finally reach their peak and collapse against the pillows, sated, and drunk off of each other's lips. They take deep gulps of it as they come down from their high, waiting for their heartbeats to settle, and Carlos delights in the fresh feeling as it fills his lungs. 

Then, Tk had mumbled the words while sleeping, and Carlos hadn't known what it would mean for them going forwards. Now though, as they’re once again entangled beneath the sheets like before, TK’s eyes are open and vibrant. They stare up at Carlos, sparkling with satisfaction and alight with undisguised joy in the soft yellow glow of the bedside lamp and Carlos sees his own future reflecting back at him. Their heated gazes stay locked and TK’s seems to burn brighter when Carlos, despite his near-speechless exhaustion, sends a raspy drawl gliding across the rumpled sheets.

“I love you, TK.”

It’s the only time so far that Carlos has said it first, he realises, and he spends a moment smiling softly to himself just because he can. He loves TK, and TK loves him, and absolutely nothing is holding him back from shouting those words to the world as often as he wants from this moment on. For now though, he’ll settle for intimate whispers in the privacy of their bed that have both their cheeks turning pink above contented smiles. And when TK leans up for a lingering kiss that makes them both breathless, Carlos tastes his reply before it falls from his lover's kiss-swollen mouth. The words are as sweet on his tongue as they are to his ears, a unique flavour that Carlos swears to cherish forever:

“I love you too, Carlos.”

They fall asleep together exactly like that; tiredness seeping down to their bones, bodies so closely intertwined that they become one shadow in the darkness, and surrounded by the love that radiates between them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you're enjoying this so far. Regular updates to come. 
> 
> Feel free to comment and let me know what you think.


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